woman holding iphone to deal with problematic clients

Problematic clients

So, no matter if you are a newbie or a seasoned veteran, content creators have a unique chance to interact with all different types of clients who come to us in all forms of honesty. They come unencumbered by judgment, free to ask the questions they seek the answers to, and ready for fun! Now, this is a good thing. However, that doesn’t stop a few potentially problematic individuals from sneaking in with the crowd. This will look and feel different for everyone on both sides, but the fact of the matter is, no problem causing clients need to ruin your day. These issues come in assorted forms, but handling them can be as easy as any other issue with practice. This is a skill that you can not only use for sex work but “vanilla” aspects as well.


When you do what we do, you form bonds with your members. These are mostly good bonds that will make doing this kind of work more fun and remind you why you love it. However, on occasion, we find that some clients or members will develop a slightly more unhealthy bond on their own end, thinking that they are more important than your other members, thinking that they will be your new real-life boyfriend or otherwise. This comes about in different ways as well. Some people believe that the more money they spend the more you will be drawn to them, some people feel that show boating in front of other members will set them apart from the crowd. No matter the situation, it is not a good idea to lead members to think that you will “leave it all behind” to be with them if that is not actually something you want to do. This can cause many issues, including your member being embarrassed and hurt and potentially having a varying amount of outbursts in whatever way they see fit. This is not only an issue that you will have to deal with in an effective way but can be detrimental to your “cam crew” and public show environment.


Dealing with a member who shows signs of this in a polite and gentle way upfront is not always easy, but it is a much more effective, positive way of handling it. It is ok to remind people if you feel they are getting overly obsessed or making you uncomfortable that you like to keep your private life separate from your “on-stage” persona and not give in to answering the more personal questions they may ask. A true supporter of yours will respect that. This also helps keep the mystery alive, and we all know how exciting that kind of anticipation can be! Being honest about your intentions with the work you do is also helpful and can easily be done without seeming like you are only in the business for the financial aspect. Reminding the group as a whole that you only chat using a pay-per-minute pay-per-text platform when you are not on cam or that you will only be answering messages during certain “business hours” is more than acceptable. This removes the 24/7 accessibility they may think they have to you. This not only keeps them coming back for more but reminds them in a nice way that you are there for a purpose, and that purpose is not to move across the country to be their new girlfriend.


On the more annoying end, when a new member or even an existing member decides they think they deserve a discount for assorted reasons, it not only shows that they feel entitled but also can make you question your own set of rules. Do not give in. If you are offering a discount on your own accord and people want to capitalize on that? Fine. On the more selfish end though, I believe we have all heard the “So-and-so will do that video for X amount” and in that case, the response “Go ask them then” is perfectly fine. Do not let someone manipulate you to change your pricing or give the goodies away for free. If someone wants to support you and wants your product, they will pay for it. “I am a college student and I do not have much spending money at the moment” is my favorite line I hear over and over when people try to haggle. It is not your responsibility to change your prices for each individual. Your product, although something they want, is not something they need. If they want to purchase a new pair of shoes, they have to save their spending money until they have enough to make the purchase at the store. This is no different. If you have a member that is constantly asking for discounts or bothering you about freebies, feel free to send them to your clip store, Pornhub profile or other cheaper options. “Those are out of my price range” Does not mean that you need to change your prices. Keep your value and stay strong. If someone wants the products you produce, they will buy them. If they are looking for a specific kind of product but not specifically from you, let them go to someone else if your prices do not fit into the budget. You are free to make your own choices but do not let people walk all over you when it comes to making the purchase. You can stick to your guns while being polite and understanding, but that does not mean you need to cave.

The more serious part of all of this is when a member threatens either themself or even you as a result of their own twisted ideal they have. This is when it is very beneficial to work on verified platforms that have a support staff. The staff is there to assist you with assorted issues and questions, and there is no better help in a situation where someone’s mental health or even physical safety is involved. Use the report button. Let the staff help you. This can be a scary situation, so being able to have any liability taken off the table is the first step. Get yourself out of a situation like that as soon as you see it happening. This is not to say that you can not have a talk with someone who is going through a hard time, but we all know that this is a different situation entirely. Many people come to have a very close connection with us as they can be their true self, honest and comfortable with this beautiful stranger they met online. This results in an unexpected vulnerability and, if boundaries are crossed, can make for a very daunting situation if things take a turn for the worse. Listening to a member who is having a hard time is much different than someone having a breakdown of sorts at your expense. If someone is threatening themself or even you or showing signs of an unstable situation approaching, do not hesitate to bring it to the attention of the support staff.


All this being said, the amount of problematic members is outweighed by the positive aspects and people that go along with this kind of work. But it is not always sunshine and rainbows. It is important to remember to keep your eyes and ears open when you are dealing with each and every one of your clients. Developing a healthy, boundary-respecting relationship with your fans is a part of the fun, and I wouldn’t give my crew up for the world. But just know that, as in real life, things can sometimes take a turn for the worse. Having the courage to stand up to the situation in an appropriate way and utilizing the tools you have can save you from a stressful and breaking situation at times. Always stay in check with yourself, keep your boundaries set and know that you may not always have control of a situation that someone else has created, but know that the ability to take control on your own end and have a resolve ready is there if you need it.