Anal sex toys

Strap-On Etiquette

The world of sex toys is a vast and glorious landscape of goodies ranging from cock rings and dildos to butt plugs shaped like strawberries with a near infinite variety in between. One of the most fun and, for some people, most intimidating is the strap-on dildo harness. Whether you’re in a monogamous relationship or a serial pegger, a strap pro or a first-time shopper, the fantasies waiting to be fulfilled are plenty. But there are a few things to take into consideration when picking out your next favorite toy in regard to cleanliness, safety, consent, and practicality. So, let’s take a quick look at the basics of strap-on etiquette.

THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN CHOOSING A TOY

First and foremost in any intimate situation is consent. You may want to introduce your Tinder date to a pelvis-crushing horse cock, but it’s up to them to decide what goes into their body. Times are tough, but it’s a really good idea to have a few toys to choose from if you’re hosting or bringing along a hoe bag to a partner’s place. Having different sizes and shapes will make it much easier for everyone to have a comfortable and pleasurable experience.

When shopping for the dildos you want to use with your strap, it’s critical to keep cleanliness in mind, not just for post-fun cleanup but also for keeping bodies free and clear of nasty bacteria lurking on low-quality toys. If you have a vagina, you probably know that sticking the wrong thing up there is basically like setting off a frag grenade filled with UTIs and BV. Do your best to stick to silicone, stainless steel, or glass toys to make sterilization easier. Platinum silicone and stainless steel can even be boiled, but all of them can be taken care of with toy cleaner or fragrance-free antibacterial soaps.

If you’re going to be using the same dildos with multiple partners, the safest practice is going to be using toy-safe condoms when you play. It’ll help a bunch with cleaning up all that lube and bodily fluids afterwards, as well. That’s a win-win situation for everyone involved! If, for whatever reason, that’s something you don’t want to do, be upfront with your partner in disclosing that the toys you’re using aren’t brand new but have been properly cleaned in between uses. They may not be into the idea of using your ex’s last birthday gift to you, and that’s totally OK.

CHOOSING A HARNESS TO USE WITH YOUR NEW TOY

While the toy part is up to the receiver to choose, the giver is going to want to be the one picking out the actual harness. There are plenty of materials and styles to choose from, all with their own benefits and drawbacks. You can get fabric materials that can be thrown in the wash for easier cleaning, underwear styles that slip right on, strap harnesses that go over the hips and thighs, or my personal favorite, internal styles that you hold inside of yourself! Whichever you pick, take a little time to get used to wearing them before you bring them into play. Strut around the house a bit to get used to the feeling, practice your trusting if that’s what you plan to do. Have some fun with it, it’ll pay off when it’s time to get down to business.

There’s always room to grow your tastes when it comes to toys. Harnesses will typically come with at least one O ring attached so you can swap out the toys you want to use. It’s convenient if you plan on swapping back and forth with your partner or if you’re working your way up in size training. Remember to thoroughly clean your toys or swap a new condom if you’re going to do anal and vaginal penetration in the same session. And as always, getting clear and continual consent before you play is the most important part of the deal. Keep all that in mind and get strapped in, because you’re in for a wild ride!

Riley Cyriis is a New England-based indie content creator and mortician. She owns Cyriis Studios with her partner, Ryan Cyriis. She’s a cult survivor, a heavily-armed liberal, and the enemy of corruption and greed.

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