09 Feb Psychology of Kink – Dominance, Submission, and Power Exchange
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in Marketing Yourself
Domination and submission exist on a continuum of power roles in relationships between social animals, and that includes us humans! The social roles of dominant and submissive, and how they are linked to femininity and masculinity, have been front and centre in recent times as people question how we organise ourselves socially and domestically. The ways these roles are created and structured has been an interesting topic of research for many fields, and have provided links to how and why people find exploration of domination, submission, and power exchange highly exciting in the bedroom (or wherever kinky activities take place). In this piece on the psychology of kink, I will delve into the biological and social basis of these power roles, and connect this with the concept of fetishsexuality and how that can explain the allure of power exchange play.
DOMINANCE AND SUBMISSION
Let’s begin by discussing the social roles of dominance and submission (or subordination). Dominance is a real and often misunderstood behaviour of highly social animals such as humans. It comes out of competition for resources such as food, mates, and territory. When two individuals interact repeatedly over time, logging information about how these interactions played out, certain behavioural patterns will emerge to help these individuals get their needs met. There are different ways that individuals get their needs met; however, fighting and lengthy negotiation can be ineffective and detrimental to the individual and the group. This is where the role of dominance enters. When an individual is established as dominant over another, the relationship becomes stable and predictable. There is no need for physical fights or emotional games that can have harmful effects and destabilise the relationship and the group. Part of the role of the dominant individual is to keep stability by reminding the subordinate individual or member of the group who is in charge.
In contrast, having an individual be submissive or subordinate is required for a dominant individual to exist. Submission is a short-term strategy that gives the individual time to build up power to challenge the one in the dominant position. In short, for social dominance to exist, there must be a corresponding behaviour, and that behaviour is submission.
People are not inherently dominant or submissive, but are fluid in these social behaviours as they need to draw on different strategies in different circumstances for the benefit of the individual and the group they are a member of.
WHY IS POWER EXCHANGE ENTICING?
As you can see, social roles are incredibly complex and are adopted to ensure the stability and sustainability of the group. As I have discussed in my piece on popular culture in porn, people are attracted to and fascinated by identities and roles they see every day, and playing these out or subverting them in their sexual activities. This is no different from the social roles of dominance and submission. When it comes to sexual dominance and submission, human brain circuitry links these behaviours to our subcortical pleasure centres, therefore, we are hardwired to have them be enjoyable activities for us. As I said before, people are fluid in dominant and subordinate social behaviour, but there is some evidence to suggest that individuals prefer either sexual dominance or sexual submission. The research suggests that higher levels of testosterone make people strive for more dominance and control; however, these results need to be interpreted with caution due to other social and environmental factors.
Power exchange can result in powerful experiences of pleasure, especially when it comes to circumventing what preferences people have when it comes to dominance or submission. For people who are primarily dominant, assuming a submissive role activates a different neural pathway to their pleasure centre that they are not used to using. The “sensitivity” of this different neural pathway that is not usually used can result in higher levels of pleasure. Furthermore, power exchange is linked to control and to clearly defined boundaries around what activities are going to be engaged in, what the expectations are, and clear consent throughout. This structure, which is fundamental to sexual power exchange, can be calming and stabilising for people who struggle with feelings of anxiety or lack of control.
There has been a significant amount of research into men’s assumed predilection for sexual dominance and women’s assumed predilection for sexual submission, and the results from the research show that the experience of power exchange for women is much more complex (as is the experience of women’s sexual desire in general). The basis of this is thought to be biological as well as environmental, combined with how the experience of living in patriarchal societies shapes women’s ability to express and explore their authentic desires.
FETISHSEXUALITY AND THE LINK TO DOMINATION AND SUBMISSION
In a previous piece, I talked about Galen Focus and his concept of fetishsexuality and the related concept of the Personal Erotic Myth (PEM). This concept is based on Jungian archetypes as a powerful means to explore our unconscious sexual desires and live more authentically. For power exchange fantasies, there are multiple archetype characters that can be combined to explore different personifications of dominance and submission.
For example, the King or Queen archetype can influence the role of someone who is sexually dominant, while the servant or devotee can influence the role of someone who is sexually submissive. According to this theory, these archetypes exist within the collective unconscious and are present in all of us, through time and space, culture and environment. Exploring these archetypes in kinky practices, with behaviours that are hardwired through our being social animals, and guided by rules and boundaries of power exchange play, results in not only pleasurable experiences but also unearthing how these archetypes exist in our unconscious and, therefore, how they emerge in our conscious lives.
Rem Sequence is an Australian adult content creator, blogger, and internationally published alt model. She has a background in psychology, philosophy and political science and worked in health and sex education, youth work and trauma counselling for almost two decades. Now, she works full time in the adult industry, as well as indulging her passion for arts, writing and music in numerous side projects.
Domination and submission exist on a continuum of power roles in relationships between social animals, and that includes us humans! The social roles of dominant and submissive, and how they are linked to femininity and masculinity, have been front and centre in recent times as people question how we organise ourselves socially and domestically. The ways these roles are created and structured has been an interesting topic of research for many fields, and have provided links to how and why people find exploration of domination, submission, and power exchange highly exciting in the bedroom (or wherever kinky activities take place). In this piece on the psychology of kink, I will delve into the biological and social basis of these power roles, and connect this with the concept of fetishsexuality and how that can explain the allure of power exchange play.
DOMINANCE AND SUBMISSION
Let’s begin by discussing the social roles of dominance and submission (or subordination). Dominance is a real and often misunderstood behaviour of highly social animals such as humans. It comes out of competition for resources such as food, mates, and territory. When two individuals interact repeatedly over time, logging information about how these interactions played out, certain behavioural patterns will emerge to help these individuals get their needs met. There are different ways that individuals get their needs met; however, fighting and lengthy negotiation can be ineffective and detrimental to the individual and the group. This is where the role of dominance enters. When an individual is established as dominant over another, the relationship becomes stable and predictable. There is no need for physical fights or emotional games that can have harmful effects and destabilise the relationship and the group. Part of the role of the dominant individual is to keep stability by reminding the subordinate individual or member of the group who is in charge.
In contrast, having an individual be submissive or subordinate is required for a dominant individual to exist. Submission is a short-term strategy that gives the individual time to build up power to challenge the one in the dominant position. In short, for social dominance to exist, there must be a corresponding behaviour, and that behaviour is submission.
People are not inherently dominant or submissive, but are fluid in these social behaviours as they need to draw on different strategies in different circumstances for the benefit of the individual and the group they are a member of.
WHY IS POWER EXCHANGE ENTICING?
As you can see, social roles are incredibly complex and are adopted to ensure the stability and sustainability of the group. As I have discussed in my piece on popular culture in porn, people are attracted to and fascinated by identities and roles they see every day, and playing these out or subverting them in their sexual activities. This is no different from the social roles of dominance and submission. When it comes to sexual dominance and submission, human brain circuitry links these behaviours to our subcortical pleasure centres, therefore, we are hardwired to have them be enjoyable activities for us. As I said before, people are fluid in dominant and subordinate social behaviour, but there is some evidence to suggest that individuals prefer either sexual dominance or sexual submission. The research suggests that higher levels of testosterone make people strive for more dominance and control; however, these results need to be interpreted with caution due to other social and environmental factors.
Power exchange can result in powerful experiences of pleasure, especially when it comes to circumventing what preferences people have when it comes to dominance or submission. For people who are primarily dominant, assuming a submissive role activates a different neural pathway to their pleasure centre that they are not used to using. The “sensitivity” of this different neural pathway that is not usually used can result in higher levels of pleasure. Furthermore, power exchange is linked to control and to clearly defined boundaries around what activities are going to be engaged in, what the expectations are, and clear consent throughout. This structure, which is fundamental to sexual power exchange, can be calming and stabilising for people who struggle with feelings of anxiety or lack of control.
There has been a significant amount of research into men’s assumed predilection for sexual dominance and women’s assumed predilection for sexual submission, and the results from the research show that the experience of power exchange for women is much more complex (as is the experience of women’s sexual desire in general). The basis of this is thought to be biological as well as environmental, combined with how the experience of living in patriarchal societies shapes women’s ability to express and explore their authentic desires.
FETISHSEXUALITY AND THE LINK TO DOMINATION AND SUBMISSION
In a previous piece, I talked about Galen Focus and his concept of fetishsexuality and the related concept of the Personal Erotic Myth (PEM). This concept is based on Jungian archetypes as a powerful means to explore our unconscious sexual desires and live more authentically. For power exchange fantasies, there are multiple archetype characters that can be combined to explore different personifications of dominance and submission.
For example, the King or Queen archetype can influence the role of someone who is sexually dominant, while the servant or devotee can influence the role of someone who is sexually submissive. According to this theory, these archetypes exist within the collective unconscious and are present in all of us, through time and space, culture and environment. Exploring these archetypes in kinky practices, with behaviours that are hardwired through our being social animals, and guided by rules and boundaries of power exchange play, results in not only pleasurable experiences but also unearthing how these archetypes exist in our unconscious and, therefore, how they emerge in our conscious lives.
Rem Sequence is an Australian adult content creator, blogger, and internationally published alt model. She has a background in psychology, philosophy and political science and worked in health and sex education, youth work and trauma counselling for almost two decades. Now, she works full time in the adult industry, as well as indulging her passion for arts, writing and music in numerous side projects.
