09 Sep Dating as a sex worker
Posted
in Industry Knowledge
Romantic relationships are hard work. Maintaining the ones you’re already in or finding new ones to hopefully grow into your dream come true are both stressful in their own ways. Dating apps are oversaturated and algorithm-based, just like social media. Lots of us are all still a little awkward in social situations since the pandemic, and more people than ever are working from home. So, opportunities for new love are a little slim for a lot of us. That’s the case for normies, but there are all sorts of extra things to get in the way of both established and new relationships when you’re a sex worker. Whether you’re already doing it or just want to get started, full service or strictly online, there are stigmas and stereotypes that are going to become obstacles to navigate. So, what can we do, and what can we expect? Don’t stress, I’m here to offer some unsolicited dating advice. I’ve been through each of the scenarios, but they’re just opinions and may not be how you want to handle them yourself.
If you’re already in a committed relationship, you probably know that communication is the key to harmony. When you decide for yourself that you want to dip your toe into sex work or dive right in, that’s going to be a serious conversation. Plan out what you want to say, anticipate your partner’s questions and how you want to respond to them and prepare yourself for the possibility that things could get really emotional or heated. If your partner is supportive of your plans, that’s awesome! But, if they’re against it, you’ll find yourself having to choose between your desires and theirs. Ultimately, it’s your body and your choice, but you’ll need to consider the intricacies of your relationship and the possibility of losing it into consideration.
“PLAN OUT WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY, ANTICIPATE YOUR PARTNER’S QUESTIONS AND HOW YOU WANT TO RESPOND TO THEM AND PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE POSSIBILITY THAT THINGS COULD GET REALLY EMOTIONAL OR HEATED.”
How about getting into a new relationship when you’re already a sex worker? It’s less emotionally distressing than breaking it to your fiancé, but still nerve-wracking. If it’s something you even want to disclose, the best bet is to be upfront about it. If you’re really feeling someone but they’re not into it, that sucks, but it’s their choice. I’m sure plenty of us wouldn’t date a cop, right? They might also be weirdly into it, almost fetishizing having a partner who does sex work. They’re the type that would want to “rescue” you from it a few months down the line. Hopefully, your potential person is just cool about it; a job is just a job, after all. Green flag!
Another fun little scenario is when you’re dating a sex worker and want to start doing it with them. Again, communication is going to be clutch and needs to be two-way. If your partner is experienced and responsible, they’ll be honest about the pros and cons of the industry. Not everyone is cut out for this, and it’s not quick money-slinging butthole pics, despite what popular media wants to portray it as. So be open and considerate of both sides of the conversation. Your partner may love the idea; they might support you doing it on your own, or they might not want to be a part of it.
No matter what kind of relationship you’re in, honesty is important. But you need to be honest with yourself first and understand that disclosing your profession is completely your call. Could keeping it to yourself cause problems in the future? That’s definitely a possibility, but so is coming out about it. Your health and safety should always be your first priority, and if you even remotely think your partner would react with anger or abuse to your profession, you might want to consider leaving that relationship in the first place. So, weigh your options, be safe, and live your very best life!
Riley Cyriis is a New England-based indie content creator and mortician. She owns Cyriis Studios with her partner, Ryan Cyriis. She’s a cult survivor, a heavily-armed liberal, and the enemy of corruption and greed.
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Romantic relationships are hard work. Maintaining the ones you’re already in or finding new ones to hopefully grow into your dream come true are both stressful in their own ways. Dating apps are oversaturated and algorithm-based, just like social media. Lots of us are all still a little awkward in social situations since the pandemic, and more people than ever are working from home. So, opportunities for new love are a little slim for a lot of us. That’s the case for normies, but there are all sorts of extra things to get in the way of both established and new relationships when you’re a sex worker. Whether you’re already doing it or just want to get started, full service or strictly online, there are stigmas and stereotypes that are going to become obstacles to navigate. So, what can we do, and what can we expect? Don’t stress, I’m here to offer some unsolicited dating advice. I’ve been through each of the scenarios, but they’re just opinions and may not be how you want to handle them yourself.
If you’re already in a committed relationship, you probably know that communication is the key to harmony. When you decide for yourself that you want to dip your toe into sex work or dive right in, that’s going to be a serious conversation. Plan out what you want to say, anticipate your partner’s questions and how you want to respond to them and prepare yourself for the possibility that things could get really emotional or heated. If your partner is supportive of your plans, that’s awesome! But, if they’re against it, you’ll find yourself having to choose between your desires and theirs. Ultimately, it’s your body and your choice, but you’ll need to consider the intricacies of your relationship and the possibility of losing it into consideration.
“PLAN OUT WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY, ANTICIPATE YOUR PARTNER’S QUESTIONS AND HOW YOU WANT TO RESPOND TO THEM AND PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE POSSIBILITY THAT THINGS COULD GET REALLY EMOTIONAL OR HEATED.”
How about getting into a new relationship when you’re already a sex worker? It’s less emotionally distressing than breaking it to your fiancé, but still nerve-wracking. If it’s something you even want to disclose, the best bet is to be upfront about it. If you’re really feeling someone but they’re not into it, that sucks, but it’s their choice. I’m sure plenty of us wouldn’t date a cop, right? They might also be weirdly into it, almost fetishizing having a partner who does sex work. They’re the type that would want to “rescue” you from it a few months down the line. Hopefully, your potential person is just cool about it; a job is just a job, after all. Green flag!
Another fun little scenario is when you’re dating a sex worker and want to start doing it with them. Again, communication is going to be clutch and needs to be two-way. If your partner is experienced and responsible, they’ll be honest about the pros and cons of the industry. Not everyone is cut out for this, and it’s not quick money-slinging butthole pics, despite what popular media wants to portray it as. So be open and considerate of both sides of the conversation. Your partner may love the idea; they might support you doing it on your own, or they might not want to be a part of it.
No matter what kind of relationship you’re in, honesty is important. But you need to be honest with yourself first and understand that disclosing your profession is completely your call. Could keeping it to yourself cause problems in the future? That’s definitely a possibility, but so is coming out about it. Your health and safety should always be your first priority, and if you even remotely think your partner would react with anger or abuse to your profession, you might want to consider leaving that relationship in the first place. So, weigh your options, be safe, and live your very best life!
Riley Cyriis is a New England-based indie content creator and mortician. She owns Cyriis Studios with her partner, Ryan Cyriis. She’s a cult survivor, a heavily-armed liberal, and the enemy of corruption and greed.
